How was your weekend?
I wanted to write a lighthearted post touching on an all-too common occurrence. Let’s be real: people say some really stupid things to pregnant women. The comments are rarely said with any sort of malice or bad intentions, but even the most innocent statements can be upsetting when they’re said to a woman going through unimaginable (not to mention uncomfortable and uncontrollable) changes. Especially if she’s heard them over and over again.
Think about it- is it ever okay for a stranger to comment on a woman’s size? No. But add a baby into the mix and suddenly weight gain and belly size are hot topics. And let’s not forget the unsolicited belly rubs. Goodbye, privacy and personal space!
Chances are, you’ve heard at least one of these if you’ve ever been pregnant. So I hope you find humor in the fact you are, most certainly, not alone! This post isn’t meant to offend anyone or point fingers. Like I said, we know the comments usually mean well.
10 Things To Never Say To a Pregnant Woman
- “You’ve gotten HUGE!” Little tip: avoid the words “huge”, “massive”, “ginormous”, or any other synonym. We know we’ve gotten big. Our belly is right there under our nose, blocking the view of our feet. So unless we started pregnancy underweight and have purposely been stuffing our faces to “get big”, we don’t want need to be reminded about the size of our bellies.
- “It must be a girl because you’ve gained everywhere, not just in your belly.” Um, thanks? Now you’re telling a woman that not only is she gaining, but she’s gaining everywhere. Yes, it’s an old wives tale that moms will only gain in their bellies if it’s a boy and all over if it’s a girl, but c’mon.
- “You look tired.” It doesn’t matter what trimester we’re in, sleeping is difficult. Between the discomfort, weird dreams, baby kicking us all night, and excessive need to pee, we’re not getting much sleep. This is also a good reason to never tell us we’re napping too much. We sleep when we can! It’s practice for when the baby arrives.
- “My mom/sister/friend/some girl I’ve never met only gained 15 pounds when they were pregnant, and it was all belly.” I don’t know what response you’re expecting, but I can tell you it won’t be good. First, it’s not okay to compare us to another woman, especially if it’s meant to make us feel bad. Secondly, every woman and pregnancy is different. End result: We won’t be happy for them; we’ll be pissed at you for saying that.
- “Should you be eating that?” Rest assured we’ve researched everything we can/cannot eat. If it’s not on the restricted list, then yes, we’re sure.
- “My delivery was horrible!” Please, we’d love to hear another delivery story! Does this one involve tearing, too?
- “Your hormones are making you so moody.” Yes, it could be the hormones, but it could also be the lack of sleep, constant discomfort, or the fact we’re craving ice cream and can’t get it for a few hours. You don’t know!
- “How much weight have you gained?” The weight of a healthy baby minus the weight of your judgement.
- “What are you going to do to lose the baby weight?” Dang, can we deliver and recover first? We may be a little concerned about getting our bodies back after birth, but right now we’re mostly concerned about growing a healthy baby and being the best mother possible after that. If that means a short hiatus from the gym, then so be it.
- “You’re planning on breastfeeding, right?” Maybe yes, maybe no. But it’s definitely not anybody’s business. We know the research and have made up our own mind. The most important thing is the baby’s healthy and fed.
And a bonus for husbands or roommates…
“I ate the last [instert any piece of food here].” NEVER do this. It doesn’t matter if it’s cake, chocolate, steak, or an apple…do not, I repeat, do not eat the last of anything!
Seriously, I cried over my husband eating the last of the eggs before. Not my proudest moment.
Hope you got a laugh out of this!
Question: Tell me about a funny pregnancy moment you had! (…pregnancy brain, crying over the last of the eggs, anything.)
Have you tried any new recipes lately?